I was reading a post at Melba's blog about her search for something to believe in, and I happened to read this particular section:
"It is the practicality of living that I struggle with. I don't lack faith, just the...commitment? belief? knowledge?...?
It is the practice. I have the faith, but I have not found my practice. and I know that changes and expands as I do."
That is EXACTLY where I am now. I haven't lost my faith in God. I still believe in him, in his power, in his love...
I just question the Christian pratices I see in the world around me. I don't know what it means to be a true Christian.... I don't know what is traditions of man, and what is really how the Bible says to live. I just don't know anymore. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. And I'm tired of being encouraged to just "go with the flow" and fit back into the mold... Vote Republican cause that's what good white Christians do. Fight gay marriage cause that's what good Christians do. Preach to others because that's what good Christians do. Eat large portions at buffets while gossiping about others, because that's what good Christians do.
There has GOT to be a better way!!!!!!!!!!! There has got to be MORE! This can't be all that God had in mind for us... it just can't. There has to be a better way.
And perhaps if I could at least get into the practice of praying for more than my daily needs, I could find out what that way is. *deep sigh*
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2 comments:
I've felt this very same way many times in my life. I grew up attending church with my family and there have been the same ups and downs that I read in your blog. There's nothing I can say that you don't already know, just that you are not alone. I have a feeling more people are familiar with this struggle than we know...probably a lot of them we go to church with every single week!
Good for people to know.
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