Lost

Lost



My soul looks for it's home

In a new and frightning land



Millions of miles away

From the comfy niche it once called home


Some days, I really struggle with my faith. Today is definately one of them.

I've done a lot of changing in my life in the recent past... and I'm not sure how to integrate the beliefs I hold, into the person I've become.

Two years ago, I was a Spiritual Perfectionist, working my tail off for my spiritually-abusive pastor in an attempt to please God. I was deeply self-righteous (look at all the stuff I DO!) and had dramatic highs and lows in my spiritual life. I was also at my wits end... trying so hard, accomplishing so little, and driving myself into the ground.

Today, I have a new church, and a totally different pastor. I "do" a lot less, but am having the same results! I'm learning what "grace" is, and how it can actually work in my life. My spiritual life is no longer a roller coaster of highs and lows, but a steady walk.

So now I'm looking for a place in the world for the soul of the new Jana. I stand here, looking for direction. What is the purpose of my soul? What is the purpose God created me for?

Where am I at, and where do I go from here?

Small Steps

Through the course of the past year, I've realized that I need to spend more time exploring my faith. Learning, praying, and spending time with other people exploring their faiths... this is important to me.

Helenina asked me if I think I have to go to church to be close to God. So that's our discussion for the moment...

What do YOU think:

Is church attendance vital? Why or why not?